Getting a grip!

This post is all about getting a grip….. a  letter, a memo  to myself……GET A GRIP SUZANNE!  

You’ll note that it’s been sometime since I posted on my blog and this has purely been about wavering motivation…. The affects  of active cancer treatment mean that it often takes a little extra effort to do even the simplest things and  my ‘extra effort department’ has simply  closed down for business. 

Lately I have quite literally lost my mojo, and it was the  most fabulous wellbeing event run by the Lewis Foundation on 25th November, that has fired up my minds passions from it’s kinders ….. and so today I have decided to get a grip.

Getting a grip is easier said than done, even for the feisty female that I am. I kid you not, these last few of months have been tough in many ways. I have been physically and emotionally challenged as far as I have ‘ever’ been and those that know me, will understand the significance of this statement. This is unfortunately ‘the beast’ that cancer is…..where it is easy to become ‘stuck’ by a word, a thought, a challenge that is usually taken in a stride.  

Thankfully life has also paved a way for an abundance of blessings that have flowed around me whilst this cancer crap has been doing its worst. Don’t get me wrong, I have felt  somewhat chewed up,  spat out  and completely bored by the emotional and physical symptoms of the cancer treatment,  and  found it difficult to ‘sharp tune’ into these blessings, but  never the less, they have been there.   During ‘impossible’ moments I have searched for them and have found them in the thoughts, gestures extended by people, events  and in the ‘centering’ of mindfulness practice. 

Blessings, however, do NOT automatically cancel out other difficult feelings, thoughts or events you are experiencing.  They can co exist amicably when there are reminders of what  there is to be grateful for, but fundamentally there needs to be an acceptance that you are going through tough moments and a need to know your ‘back is covered’.

For those that want to join me in getting ‘a grip’; know that it is ok to lose your sense of direction, just don’t hang around there too long and reach out for encouragements. Those that have been in your life the longest, may not always be the ones that are able to support you in the way that you need sometimes and so scope out the right people that can see you through.  

I have found the YBCN online forums and the friends made through #BFN, to be my personal life line.  This does not mean that our nearest and dearest are letting us down, it’s an acknowledgement that hanging around someone through cancer treatment is not easy and limitations exist in our relationships.  Building a robust network of support around you is crucial to your emotional wellbeing whether you have cancer or not, and you just simply have be your own hero sometimes and lead the way.

There is no doubt that I will be  having regular words with myself from time to time about getting a grip as cancer treatment isn't a walk in the park, and a life long gig for many. Make no apologies for needing to get a grip and know that  being the best that you can be at anyone time is all you can ask of yourself.

WELL DONE SUZANNE, YOU HAVE DONE YOUR BEST, but now time to get a grip and get blogging!