Side effects...what the 'FEC!'

On the lead up to Round Two of my chemotherapy treatment, I look back and evaluate how I fared in Round One!

I had the FEC treatment on Thursday 16th January and generally speaking, It has felt like I have been having an 'out of body experience' and It's left me feeling somewhat vulnerable. My mind, albeit sometimes functioning in slow motion, has clearly been sharper than my body, but by the Saturday I was fed up and almost guilty with the whole 'resting' thing.

On the Sunday, I tried to storm my way through the symptom, keen to fulfil my usual routine with a Tesco shop and preparing a Sunday roast. Whilst, at the time, I arrogantly saw this as a success, I paid for this on the Monday, which was to become my 'worst day' in terms of symptoms. I felt totally flaked out and I hibernated for the day.

It would have been so easy to have hibernated longer, however I know from research that keeping as active as possible, keeps away the 'blues', so I tried to overcome the fatigue with lots of short walks.

During the first week and part of the second, I found myself in a 'Topsy Turvey world', where a lot of what I was used to was different. My motivation wained, my appetite had changed and I felt tired and fatigued . I had a taste for nothing other than twiglets and poached egg (not together of course!). I developed a dislike for the food and smells I loved. The homemade vegetable soup and the peanut butter and chia seed cookies, that I had busied myself preparing ready for the week, went to waste. The smell of the lilies I had in my home, made me feel nauseous and I couldn't wear my usual perfumes and body creams, as they made me feel unwell.

I'm thankful, that I seemed to have escape the worst of the documented side effects of the injections that I had for 8 day's, other than one restless night and a day of quite achey bones.

I probably got off lightly with the mouth ulcers too..... with only a few small ones on my tongue in weeks one and two, that were relieved by frozen pineapple chunks (thanks Viv) and the freezy ice pop's (thanks Mandy).

The treatment seems to have affected my memory and concentration. I'm pleased to say that my concentration improved in week three, when I was able to start reading my book again.

I have had 2 trips to the hospital since the treatment to check out some possible side effects. The first visit wiped out the whole of my Sunday afternoon and was due to a pain in my arm where the PICC line is situated. The Dr wanted to rule of DVT, and after blood tests ,it was.

The second trip, saw me at A&E in the evening because of an allergic reaction to the dressing on the PICC line. This had happened during the time where my immune system was most vulnerable and blood tests had to be taken to make sure that my blood count wasn't dangerously low. Thankfully,It wasn't.

In terms of hair loss, in the great scheme of things the prospect of being bald is a small price to pay for being well, however the 'process' of the hair loss has been really tough.

I have found it interesting when those around me, that are 'well', and have a 'well mentality', have commented about hair loss and how devastating it must be for me....and probably before being invaded by the 'pesky' cancer cells, I would have thought the same. However this whole thing has really changed my perspective and there has never been a time where I have felt devastated by the inevitable hair loss. I have carried with me only the expected anxiety associated with being faced with something new in life.

Without thought, my 'natural default position' has been to embrace all of these symptoms as a means of recovery, and my 'instinct to survive' has clearly overridden any sense of vanity.

I first noticed some light hair shedding, when I ran my hands through my hair on Tuesday 28th January, some 14 day's since the treatment. During a lunch time treat with family the next day, I explained my 'hair shedding' to Danny. With a view to demonstrating this, I again ran my fingers through my hair expecting only few strands, however a good hand full came out!! An initial look of shock showed on both of our faces, and after making sure I had not traumatised my son for life, the scene evolved into one of laughter as Danny announced it as my new party trick!!

During a call to Steve, I explained that I was loosing hair and he declared indignantly that he knew, as he had found a strand of hair in the sandwiches I had prepared for him that morning! I say he was lucky not to have a hair ball in his sandwich, given the amount I was shedding!! lol.

My scalp was sensitive and my hair had been progressively shedding as the day's past, getting everywhere!!. Even the hair in my 'nether region' was disappearing!....I booked into have my hair shaved on 5th February,(not my 'nether region' - before you wonder!) with Debby the hair lady from NGH. Danny and Vivian(the wig) are coming with me to see me through this part! So.... cheese, Pickle and hair sandwiches are now definitely off the menu for Steve!

My distractions have come from a few trips out and some welcomed visitors.... It's amazing what 'get togethers' with family and friends can do for the spirit....'Baby George' always has a smile for me and my'cheeky chops' niece Scarlett left me with supply of hugs when she visited me recently!

By week three, distractions included a spot of decorating. The en-suite project went in slow motion and it took longer than it would normally. I had to wear a pink spotty shower cap during the painting part due to the hair shedding, but even that precaution hasn't stopped the odd strand of hair finding it self stuck the paintwork and being saved for prosperity!

This blog (15,000 hits so far), the feedback, messages and donations I have received, has had such an exhilarating effect and this has surely motivated me through the tough days of my first round of chemo.......Thank you all for your care, concern and support and for helping me make a difference to others x