The days leading up to the results day on 24th October were spent ; feeling somewhat relieved but daft for the 'the self diagnosis' !!! I had officially fallen out with 'Dr Google' ..... Steve and I returned to 'normality' at home and at work ....
The hugest sense of relief I felt was because my 'epic' son , Danny and 'amazing' daughter in law , Becky were not going to have to deal with a sick 'MD' ( mother dumpling) during their first year of marriage!!
The whole period had also shown me a side of Steve that had not known...A true rock ! Needless to say we both had a lot to reflect on and we both agreed that what had happened so far had put a lot into perspective !!
Steve and I felt so confident about the results day , that I had questioned whether he needed to go with me to the appointment... Of course he said 'I'm going' !! ((((RAAAARRR!))) We both left for work that Morning and he picked me up from work as planned .... I left my computer on and left my desk in a complete mess (as usual) expecting to be right back. I had even arranged to meet Gilly bean and baby George for lunch !!
In true Steve fashion he promptly got us to NGH..... But it took about 30 minutes to find a parking space .... Those that know Steve will know he would have allowed plenty of time to account for this, but those that know him even better would also understand when I say that this wound him up to the point of an internal combustion!!
We sat in the waiting area , both not fully appreciating what we were about to hear ....Steve , still with 'steam coming from his ears' was pre occupied with google and working out how much it would cost and how much he would make if he built a car park near the hospital! I was pre occupied with plans
to book the holiday we had delayed in booking because of the appointments !!!
So..... Having been called through , Mr Dawson my consultant, duly told me .... after what seemed a protracted preamble ...that 'it wasn't good news'.....that cancer cells had been found .
My initial thought's were of helplessness and my first tears were for Danny and Becky who were going to have to go through this with me during their first year of marriage .... ( obviously , having been castigated by Danny for even thinking this , I have been banned from repeating this !!!... Oops!!!)
My next thought was of regret for what Steve would have to deal with. I'm not sure I have ever seen him look as helpless as he did that day! LYS x
Then my thoughts wandered towards my mum, Rosie who died from cervical cancer when she was
44.... Whilst paralysed with my news ... I could already feel the determination sweep over me that I would live beyond that age and that I would thrash the cancer with full force!
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