The Rogue Node

So today, on 5th January 2017, I received the CT scan results from one of Dr Knight-in-shining-armour’s registrars and I am kicking myself for not remembering his name because he was awesome in explaining the results that have rather perplexed me!

I shall call him Dr Awesome for now and what he told me threw somewhat of a curveball in my direction, in terms of the understanding I have of the happenings in my body with this blasted pesky cell.

Ruth, the metastatic Breast Care Nurse (BCN) was also present during the consultation and bearing in mind the whole ‘NED/remission’ thing I blogged about a couple of days ago, the word Dr Awesome used was ‘stable’, and he spoke of a lymph node in my left axilla (to the side of my left breast) that had increased in size by 2mm, clarifying that it had measured 1.7cm in my last scan.  

He spoke about this as if I knew, and of course I was aware that the initial scans picked up cancer in the lymph node there, but I don’t recall any measurement being applied to it and there are no measurements in the initial PET scan report I have.  Given that Dr K had declared ’NED’ in my last appointment with him, I was and still am, a tad confused….. How could there have been  ‘No Evidence of Disease’ if in fact , there was something, as I know now, measuring 1.7cm there! 

Is this because of some sort of medical measure used, or some sort of mistake ? I have been going over conversations with Dr K in my head since the appointment and doubting myself about what I thought he told me. I can clearly recall him being specific about the lymph node in my groin showing NED and then satisfying my probing over the other lymph nodes by confirming ‘NED’. In my mind there is little room for misinterpretation with these words.  

Funnily enough, when I met another of Dr K’s registrars on 29th December 2017, he examined a hard lump that I have started to notice. Not seeming over concerned about it, he decided that we would know if this was more than the scar tissue he suspected when the CT scan report was back. I was supposed to have had the results back during that  consultation , however the Christmas period had delayed the reports and so this was the reason for the appointment today.  

Anyway, Dr Awesome explained that there could be less sinister explanations for the increase in size, such as an infection and a margin of error should also be allowed. I was eager to know if  this was going to alter my treatment plan and It seems that they only consider a review of the treatment plan, when there is a 20%  increase in size. As such the plan is to monitor the 'rogue node' and I am to have a repeat CT scan in 6 weeks time and the results I shall learn on 9th March. 

It wasn’t until I reflected on this all later in the day and with Danny’s mathematical assistance that ‘it’ would only have to grow a further 1.4 mm  to get to the 20% threshold.  I’m truly hoping for a non cancerous explanation, but I will just have to wait it out for now and focus on the plan.

Like I said, Dr Awesome was great in taking me through the information, though I realise now that I left without fully clearing the cloud of  confusion and there is now a list of questions that I hope to have answered soon. 

Besides all of that drama, Dr Awesome told me that I would not need to go back on Letrozole,  and I am happy that I will escape the symptoms of this drug. We also spoke about my return to work plans and with the accumulative effects of the chemo, Dr Awesome advised caution on an early return and this will be receiving a lot of thought over the next few weeks as I navigate the way towards my new normal.   

Todays events have left me with a cocktail of emotions; I am ok, with an undercurrent of uncertainty, a spike or two of fear and a rather large splash of ‘ FU Cancer’!