The 'elephant in my head'

I'm pleased to report that my  F.U Cancer Cheerleading Squad is growing nicely and I have been overwhelmed by the encouraging  'Pom Pom shakes' so far !! Thank you !

A cheerleading message from Spain, thank you Elizabeth!

I went for the CT scan on Tuesday 9th May with chief cheerleader, Becky, my DIL. This seemed all pretty routine and the scan itself was over and done with no time. There was only three attempts at inserting a cannula in my arm/hand for the procedure and luckily I quite liked the taste of the aniseed flavoured  concoction I had to drink over an hour period before hand.

I wasn't supposed to get the results of the CT scan until 18th May ,however when I went for the guided biopsy procedure on 12th May with Dr Moss, I took the opportunity to enquire about the results when he told me he had reviewed them . Dr Moss was absolutely 'amazing' with me and told me that the CT scan indicated no concerns relating to my internal organs .

What a relief !!!!! My friend Mary who was on cheerleading duties with me that day couldn't contain her 'relief' and was 'whooping' all the way back home!

I do reserve some caution though, because my original cancer had been occult and was undetected via CT, MRI or mammogram, and so I have questions prepared about this for my appointment with consultant, Mr Khan on 18th May , where I expect to receive the results officially.

Dr Moss' charm and professionalism meant that the guided biopsy procedure went  without any drama. He used ultrasound to locate the lump I had found  in the crease of my right collar bone, aka supraclavicular lymphnode. The area was numbed with a couple on injections and two samples were taken. It was only the 'trigger sound' each time that caused my toes to curl!

Dr Moss told me that he saw a few lymphnodes during the ultrasound and that the biggest one, the one that I had noticed was 8mm in size.  Apparently this is within normal parameters and would not necessarily have raised concern had it not been for my history. In 2013, I had been told the same and we all know what that led to!

The black blob on the screen is the pesky lymphnode! 

So that's all the tests for now and I am now keen to see Mr Khan with my list of questions.

I also aim to find out whether I can go to the wedding of my dear friends , Ruth and Trevor in Barbados. I'm  due to fly out on 24th May , however all the holiday preparations are on hold until 18th May. Fingers crossed  x 

Love you guys x 

How I feel today: Keen to get the 'show on the road'. Lots of wonderful and exciting things happening this year! 

I've been existing in a pretty surreal world since I was re diagnosed. I remain at work and had been aiming to maintain a business as usual approach  in my professional life , but last week I admitted defeat when the 'elephant in my head' was just not letting me concentrate enough to hold it all together whilst balancing work, the emotional fall out and attending hospital appointments.

I clearly underestimated the impact the news would have on me and I have since been focussing on winding up my work and have had to rely on my colleagues to cover some of my responsibilities this week. Luckily I have a planned period of holiday leave next week which will give me a chance to catch my breath and make further plans about work and life when I know what my  treatment plan is!

I'll be catching you up shortly on events that led to the re diagnosis and will be sure to update you following my appointment.