The car park had been incredibly busy on the Wednesday and having patiently waited for a car park spot for at least 20 minutes , listening to soothing classical music, I spotted my chance and manoeuvred my car into position to reverse into a space being vacated by another car. You guessed it … a man, drove his car straight into the spot, having driven around me to get there!!! That was it!!…..melt down!!
The driver pleaded ignorance and refused to leave the space, so there were a few irritable words hurled at the driver as I was trying to educate him on car park etiquette!….. It must have looked quite farcical really!!!!
I felt quite 'wounded' about it actually, and there was clearly an over reaction of emotions, and wonder whether these emotions had been laying dormant from other sources of anxiety, waiting for a victim to transfer these on to! ha ha!….. I was pleased that 'the universe returned to normal' when another driver later drove his car out of a space , even though he wasn't ready to go, to let me in and offered me his car park ticket….. so there …my faith restored!
Rant over.
So, the main appointment was a 'review' on Friday 6th June, where I was expecting to have confirmation that I could have the Herceptin treatment subcutaneously (injection in the thigh), negating the need for the Groshong line, and as such for the line to be removed!
My XMIL, Sue came with me to the appointment and we were expecting to see Dr Knighton. My heart immediately dropped when I was seen by Dr Razza….. I don't seem to connect with him as well as others, and have left his consultations/ assessment clinics feeling 'processed' and quite annoyed about his 'bedside manner' and his 'manual handling' of me!…
Excited by the prospect of getting the Groshong line removed, I was more than happy to give him the benefit of the doubt…Dr Razza was not aware of the plans, and I had to repeat the discussions around the arrangements that had been made. He came across irritated and seemed to question my recollection, as he explained that he is the one that takes out Groshong lines and that I wasn't on the list.
After a couple of checks, Dr Razza saw that there had been a breakdown in communication, and told us that I would be booked in at a later date to have the line removed as he did not want to delay the clinic for others.……There was a protracted silence and an intense eye contact exchange after he told us this, and my otherwise 'soothing' and mild mannered XMIL, broke this silence, with a feisty challenge!! Go XMIL!
Dr Razza's irritated manner made me feel quite responsible for other patients and the potential delays in their appointments. Sue rightly pointed out that it was not my fault and reminded him about the significant delays I have incurred graciously because others needed the time.
Survey's about the 'clinic experience' were being given out that day, and it was clear that Dr Razza was preoccupied with clinic delays …Because we had challenged him and asked him to balance what was right for me with the needs of the clinic, Dr Razza left the room and we heard him in the next room talking excitedly with Dr Knighton about the situation and delays. To his credit, I heard Dr Knighton advise him to do what he needed to do and offered reassurance that clinic times had caught!
So…. the Groshong line was removed that day during a procedure that lasted no more than 5 minutes!!! To note, the discussions around why I couldn't have the procedure done had taken longer than this! I also wonder what the additional cost to the NHS would have been of rebooking the appointment, when you consider the roles off all the professionals involved, including the community nurses.
Anyway ….the procedure was in no way a painful experience albeit uncomfortable….. I felt a lot of pulling and then a sharp tug that gave me the sensation that a 'stitch' had given way. I wasn't expecting this and thought something had gone wrong. My instinctive reaction was to look, and I was duly 'told off' by a seemingly 'perturbed' Dr Razza for this!!
I was glad when that appointment ended …. I remember feeling quite 'vulnerable' during the review and procedure which I can only attribute to Dr Razza's manner. Before leaving I gave him feedback about my experience, and I was grateful for the apology that followed.
With everything forgiven, I left the appointment , knowing that I would be having my 4th Herceptin treatment 'subcutaneously' on Monday 9th June at NGH. The treatment after that will be administered at home every 3 weeks for the next year and I will have regular echo cardiograms to monitor any side effects on my heart.
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| It doesn't matter how strong we are, we all need a hug sometimes!! |
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