Diversions and Mischief'

Since writing about the #WARPAINT4LIFE ad campaign…..the ad has featured in 36 shopping centre screens all over the UK…. including Highcross Leicester. Being a Leicestershire girl, this was an ultimate thrill!!! ha ha !! This was spotted by lots of family and friends and It seems my XMIL Sue  and XFIL Rob ,were nearly escorted out of Highcross by security, when they spotted Sue and Rob taking pictures of the screen!!!

When all explained, security decided that Sue and Rob were not a terrorist threat and allowed them to keep the image and leave!! ha ha!!

Ellie's ad picture is already appearing in 'Look' magazine, right next to Victoria Beckham!! Go Ellie!!...  and it seems an ad will run in the Mail on Sunday's 'You' magazine on 29th June..!

There has been lots of press coverage too; Look Online, ELLE Online, Marketing Week, Beauty Mag Online…. some great coverage for LGFB…and theres more to come!

I'm still revelling somewhat in the hype of the campaign…and grateful of the distraction it has awarded me, through some pretty tough emotional 'wobbles' lately.

Creating diversions and 'mischief'  in order to draw myself away from 'wobbly' and negative times continues to work for me. In fact, there was 'mischief making' along the 'Wellingborough Road' on 14th June, when some of my Boobettes and I went on a Neon Charity Pub Crawl in aid of  the chemo suite refurb at NGH!

This was the night of the first England World cup game, and despite the result, the 'party goers' were in full 'spirits' and very generous……To spice it up a little, I set my 'boobettes' in competition against one another to see who could raise the most money……Debbie  won the prize for raising the most and we raised an amazing £581.04 overall that night… not bad for 2 hours worth of work girls and a very entertaining evening watching my Neon Clad friends dart around for donations!!

There was a sentimental moment for me that evening, when our friend Nick gave a VERY generous amount for the cause. Nick's mother died about a year ago and he donated this in her memory!!

We  found that lots of people along the way that evening, had a story to tell about cancer, and it was the sentiment behind every 1p that we raised that was the most remarkable part of the adventure.

Thank you to My lovely Boobette's; Becky, Janet, Jo Jo, Jan, Bex, Emma, Debbie and Dawn xx

I'm feeling smug about the £1,762.23 total raised for the chemo suite refurb and with the LGFB fundraising this makes an overall amount £3,260.24…. so far!…If anyone has any ideas for some distraction and fundraising.....let me know x

I was more than happy to set my pink Tu Tu aside, and don a more 'civilised number' for Royal Ascot on 18th June….I delayed my first radiotherapy appointment by a couple of day's to attend this event, knowing this was the ultimate distraction. Steve and I had a fab day and it was also an opportunity for a  long overdue catch up with my good friend Ruth and her partner Trevor.

Where's the Pimms darling!!

A Good old British sing song!!

Look who I saw on my way to the 'ladies'!THE QUEEN!!

That's it for now folks…. Thank you for reading my blog…. your support and for distracting me! x

'Go Zap some baddies'!

My lovely cousin, 'twice removed', AnneMarie (AM)  sent me a reassuring good luck text on the day of my first Radiotherapy…. and she told me to 'go and Zap some baddies'!!…So off I went to NGH on 19th June, with my XMIL for company to pick a fight with those 'pesky cells'!

I felt some trepidation whilst waiting to be seen for the first time, but just for the unknown as I was already 'hardened' to hospital 'life' and familiar with my surroundings. There was the usual delay in being seen, then an attentive Radiographer went through in great detail what was about to happen and the possible side effects. The information  didn't all seem new to me, and I was thankful for the recap as I felt fully prepared when I was placed and positioned on the bed.

MILLY on my Radiotherapy Machine!

I have now had 5 treatments. I'm a third of the way through and well into  the familiarity of a routine … First there are the delays ;

Day 3 -YES…My allocated machine is VA1

Day 4-…. WHY!!

Day 5…going in the right direction

I am thankful for the warmth and friendliness of the staff and this makes the delays seem a trivial matter. Every day there has been a new radiographer, someone new to see my disfigured exposed 'booby lump'….… yet it doesn't seem to matter to me, to them….. it's all quite functional and as dignified as it can be.

A permanent black pen is used to mark out precise measurements on my breast area and there is lots of pulling and tugging of my body to set me in the correct position, before I'm left to be zapped in different locations…..There's no time for embarrassment…and I'm glad…… The whole process takes about 15 minutes, where I lie down perfectly still, listening to whirling machinery and catching glimpses of coloured laser beams and  trying to contain my urges to scratch the 'psychologically' induced itch on my nose…..  I'm soon on my way, remembering the advice to keep the area moisturised with aqueous cream and to shower with mild/baby products.

I carry on with the rest of my day as if nothing has happened, where the true significance of what has occurred seems hidden/missed by others….but not by me…. I feel satisfied with a productive day…after all, the day's activities has extended my chances for a longer life… right ??

The side effects have been minimal so far, with only some mild tenderness and tiredness to report. I'm aware that the effects are accumulative and hope that I escape the more sever side effects.

10 more sessions and the hard stuff is over with and in the mean time a thought for the day for all of us…

Look Good Feel Better week - The Results

I'm pleased to announce that all of our activities for Look Good Feel better week raised a total of £483 for the charity.

In a previous post, I documented Milton Keynes KIA's pink it up adventures, and they raised £151 which includes £15 for kiss pins. Thank You Hilary and Jade for making this a success at Kia and to Steve for allowing the event to happen xx

Milton Keynes Hyundai raised a total of £135, including £15 for LGFB kiss pins. A big thanks to Nicola and Claire for generating such a positive atmosphere and also making this a success! xx 

Century House, Northamptonshire County Council office base also raised £135 for  pinking it up !! Thank you Rita, Sue and Gilly Bean for leading the way !!

Rita made 60 pink bows as an incentive to donate and I heard that she was great at extracting all the loose change from people in the office lol!! 

Rita was determined to fill the donation box!!

Century House is my place of work and there have been a number of staff changes whilst I have been off work…and it was such 'a buzz' to  see so many new faces as well as familiar faces getting involved!! 

...And last but not least there was Tiffield, another Northamptonshire County Council office base, that raised a brilliant £60…. Thanks Debbie for making this happen!! A random pink picture of Debbie ….More photos to follow….!!

So…including the £483 raised within LGFB week, this makes my fundraising total of £1,498.01 for LGFB (including Julian's hair dare and my Kiss Pins).

As you are aware , I'm also raising money for Northampton General Hospital, Chemotherapy Suite Refurbishment and the total on that so far is £1,181.19. This does not include the "Neon Charity Pub Crawl' collections from 14th June 2014. This will counted up by NGH soon and I will let you know the final amount sooooon!

Thank you to all that have donated and to all of 'my boobettes' for helping me raise an overall, incredible total of £2,679.20 so far!

#WARPAINT4LIFE

All my blog buddies will know that back in April,  I was lucky enough to have taken part in a photo shoot for the Look Good Feel Better advertising campaign…….So….. having been sworn to secrecy, I was absolutely 'bursting at the seams' on the run up to  the press launch for the #warpaint4life campaign ….. and I was soooooo happy when the 11th June 2014 finally came and I could release all my contained excitement to the world and wow…what a day!

We were given a preview of the images being used for the ad campaign and the behind the scenes video in advance. I could sense the build up of energy and excitement back at LGFB HQ through the emails from Sarah Lenson, (LGFB Executive Assistant) and SJ (Executive Director).

Maria, Kreena and I, were also caught up in a flurry of emails between each other on the day's before the event, where we complimented one another on the photo images and our performance on the video!

Ironically we were all then coy and critical about parts of our own images…. and these were mainly about the areas that had been stripped away through the cancer treatment in a short space of time. (Ellie, my other model buddy was on holiday so not part of the communication).

The images are of course amazing…our 'self critique' was void of any vanity but marked another reminder for us of the internal daily battle we have with our confidence, self esteem and about the changes in our appearance.

My photo image, also focused my mind on the changes in my appearance that have happened since the photo shoot in April. The image captured a moment in time before I lost all of my eyebrows, lashes and developed 'moon face' from weight gain/steroids.

I see now that the most obvious changes have occurred for me in this 10 weeks period….Everybody goes through a process of physical change as they age, and they 'grow' into these changes gradually over time.  The physical changes that occur with cancer treatment are quick and severe. This whole experience has made me appreciate how important my #warpaint4life has been to me to 'face cancer head on'…. and the important role LGFB has for women and teens that are facing cancer.

In Maria's words "what a discussion we are having though- how many people get the chance to discuss what they look like in posters and bill-boards which will go up in major advertising campaign"!!

So… back to the day!…

My XMIL, Sue was my VIP guest and given the early morning start, we travelled to London the day before and had a 'girly' evening before turning in for our beauty sleep!

Sue seemed absolutely elated that I had asked her to come with me …. Given all the support she has given me, it was so fulfilling to have had such a reaction from her.

Having applied our 'warpaint' for the day, we made our way to St James Theatre and from the moment I stepped into the venue, It felt as if I had been transported into another world… a dream!!…

St James Theatre

It was great to see everyone from the shoot,  meet others involved with the campaign and the guests from the media.  There was a lovely breakfast as we all mingled and 'networked' … Everyone seemed so interested in our stories and the energy in the room was so infectious.

The Media Campaign breakfast presentation 'highlighted two major 20th Anniversary LGFB initiatives'.  The first of which was the  LGFB -'On the move' and secondly the #Warpaint4life advertising campaign.

The presentation was seamless and quite emotional…..

Maria, Kreena and I  were asked to prepare some words for some questions during the presentation, and we were slightly nervous about this .. but there was no need to worry, SJ(Executive Director) lead the way and it was 'alright on the night' as they say!! 

The video certainly provoked a few personal  'cringe worthy' moments for  Maria, Kreena and I when we first saw it in advance of the event , however It seems the video had the largest impact on guests…Check out the Campaign video and my YouTube debut!! 

bit.ly/warpaint4life 

LGFB made us feel like 'celebrities'…we were known as the 'Talent' !! ha ha !!… Funny really ;  we did the easy part; get spoilt, take part in a photo shoot, pout and 'smize'…It is the hard work and generosity of the 'talented' people behind the video and pictures that makes this campaign truly remarkable. Thank You x

7after6

I feel truly blessed and honoured to have been chosen to be part of this campaign. It is cancer that has lead me to this point and whilst  I would have preferred to have skipped the cancer part, it is a clear example of how misfortune opens up doors…You have to choose to walk through the door that leads the way to your full potential.

Doing the best that you can is all you need to ask of yourself….. Some day's your best may be just making a decision that you will 'try again tomorrow'…Courage is contagious and there is nothing better for me than the knowledge that  I was part of something that will make a difference to others!

After the presentation and when the guests had left, we were given a framed copy of one of our images. Josh van Gelder, the photographer signed the photo and personalised it with a message. There were also few 'Prosecco toasts' and speeches, where everybody's hard work was acknowledged and celebrated.

Check out LGFB web gallery for more pictures of the day;

http://www.lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk/warpaint4life/gallery

A large group of us, then made our way to Vauxhall Cross, where the campaign was advertised on a HUGE electronic bill board…. As we approached the site, there were 'shrills of excitement'  in our taxi cab , as the ad appeared before us. There was lots of attention from drivers as we posed for photos under the board and a 'horn honk' from our taxi driver as he drove by !! …

I was so pleased that Sue was there to share all of this with me, as well as being a witness to his unbelievable experience!! She seemed so proud and that just filled a gap in my heart, left by the marked absence of my mum. Thank you XMIL x  My mum was a strong and feisty woman and would have definitely approved of the #warpaint4life concept !! Ha !

We all celebrated ….again…. with a lovely lunch time meal at, Brunswich House restaurant , before  making our separate ways…. Sue, Kreena and I ended our day in London, recapping on events, in the famous 'Punch and Judy' pub in sunny Covent Garden.

Now….. 'lets get feisty'  and get the #warpaint4life message out there. Please share the video links and ad campaign photos. LGFB also want to know what your #warpain4life is…. whether you are facing the 'day', cancer or any other illness, please use the logo #warpaint4life on social media to let them know and help get the message circulating . e.g: My #warpaint4life is my Bobbi Brown gel eye liner…I use this to avoid the Gollum look!! ha ha!

http://www.lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk/warpaint4life

Those that wish to make any donations to LGFB can do so using the link below.

http://www.justgiving.com/sfcwright

Groshong Tales

I had a couple of appointments last week at NGH, the first of which wasn't terribly exiting other than my car park melt down!

The car park had been incredibly busy on the Wednesday and having patiently waited for a car park spot for at least 20 minutes , listening to  soothing classical music, I spotted my chance and manoeuvred my car  into position to reverse into a space being vacated by another car. You guessed it … a man, drove his car straight into the spot, having driven around me to get there!!! That was it!!…..melt down!!

The driver pleaded ignorance and refused to leave the space, so there were a few irritable words hurled at the driver as I was trying to educate him on car park etiquette!….. It must have looked quite farcical really!!!!

I felt quite 'wounded' about it actually, and there was clearly an over reaction of emotions, and wonder   whether these emotions had been laying dormant from other sources of anxiety,  waiting for a victim to transfer these on to! ha ha!…..  I was pleased that 'the universe returned to normal' when another driver later drove his car out of a space , even though he wasn't ready to go, to let me in and offered me his car park ticket….. so there …my faith restored!

Rant over.

So, the main appointment was a 'review' on Friday 6th June, where I was expecting to have confirmation that I could have the Herceptin treatment subcutaneously (injection in the thigh), negating the need for the Groshong line, and as such for the line to be removed!

My XMIL, Sue came with me to the appointment and we were expecting to see Dr Knighton. My heart  immediately dropped when I was seen by Dr Razza….. I don't seem to connect with him as well as others, and have left his consultations/ assessment clinics feeling 'processed' and quite annoyed about his 'bedside manner' and his 'manual handling' of me!…

Excited by the prospect of getting the Groshong line removed, I was more than happy to give him the benefit of the doubt…Dr Razza was not aware of the plans, and I had to repeat the discussions around the arrangements that had been made.  He came across irritated and seemed to question my recollection, as he explained that he is the one that takes out Groshong lines and that I wasn't on the list.

After a couple of checks, Dr Razza saw that there had been a breakdown in communication, and told us that I would be booked in at a later date to have the line removed as he did not want to delay the clinic for others.……There was a protracted silence and an intense eye contact exchange after he told us this, and my otherwise 'soothing' and mild mannered XMIL, broke this silence, with a feisty challenge!! Go XMIL!

Dr Razza's irritated manner made me feel quite responsible for other patients and the potential delays in their appointments. Sue rightly pointed out  that it was not my fault and reminded him about the significant delays I have incurred graciously because others needed the time.

Survey's about  the 'clinic experience' were being given out that day, and it was clear that Dr Razza was preoccupied with clinic delays …Because we had challenged him and asked him to balance what was right for me with the needs of the clinic, Dr Razza left the room and we heard him in the next room  talking excitedly with Dr Knighton about the situation and delays. To his credit, I heard Dr Knighton advise him to do what he needed to do and offered reassurance that clinic times had caught!

So…. the Groshong line was removed that day during a procedure that lasted no more than 5 minutes!!!  To note, the discussions around why I couldn't have the procedure done had taken longer than this! I also wonder what the additional cost to the NHS would have been of rebooking the appointment, when you consider the roles off all the professionals involved, including the community nurses.

Anyway ….the procedure was in no way a painful experience albeit uncomfortable….. I felt a lot of pulling and then a sharp tug that gave me the sensation that a 'stitch' had given way. I  wasn't expecting this and thought something had gone wrong. My instinctive reaction was to look, and I was duly 'told off' by a seemingly 'perturbed' Dr Razza for this!!

I was glad when that appointment ended …. I remember feeling quite 'vulnerable' during the review and procedure which I can only attribute to Dr Razza's manner. Before leaving I gave him feedback about my experience, and I was grateful for the apology that followed.

With everything forgiven, I left the appointment , knowing that I would be having my  4th Herceptin treatment 'subcutaneously' on Monday 9th June at NGH. The treatment after that will be administered at home every 3 weeks for the next year and I will have regular echo cardiograms to monitor any side effects on my heart.

It doesn't matter how strong we are, we all need a hug sometimes!!

Look Good- Feel Better Week- 2nd to 8th June

Look Good Feel better are holding their 'Feel Better Week' this week to raise awareness and funds….And of course I was going to take part in some way, given what LGFB has done for me!

So…. with thanks to some established and some newly acquired 'boobettes' .. there are a range of 'pink it up' day's going on;

Milton Keynes Kia, with Hilary and Jade at the helm, started their week by 'pinking it up' on Monday. The ladies at MK Kia also made some cakes to encourage participation and they aim to keep on 'pinking it up' throughput the week! Thanks to all those at Kia !!!

Milton Keynes Hyundai, with Nicola and Claire leading the way will be holding a 'pink it up day' on Friday and I look forward to seeing the pictures !! I detect a little healthy competition between Kia and Hyundai to raise the most! Thanks in advance to all those at MK Hyundai x

Century House (Northamptonshire County Council) with Gill, Rita and Sue 'in charge' are holding a 'pink it up' day on Wednesday. Century House is my workplace and I look forward to seeing my colleagues on Wednesday when I bring in some goodies xx 

I learnt today that Rita has been making some pink bows and it seems they have been a sell out!!… Save one for me Rita xxxx

Tiffield (Northamptonshire County Council) and some more work colleagues will be 'pinking it up' on Friday with Debbie at the helm .. Thank you soooooo much in advance and I look forward to seeing you on Friday with some goodies xx 

LGFB are also trying to achieve 2000 likes on Face Book , so if you feel you can help with this follow this link.  

https://www.facebook.com/LookGoodFeelBetterUK

Spread the word about LGFB - http://www.lookgoodfeelbetter.co.uk

For those that have been asking recently , I hope to have an update for you very soon on the model shoot I was part of and the LGFB 20th anniversary year Media campaign. 

Exciting times!!!

The Road to Radiation

With my chemo all over and done with, the next stage for me is Radiotherapy and I went for my pre radiotherapy appointment on 29th May 2014.

But first …. a quick refresh on treatment so far ; I've had surgery to remove the cancer, chemotherapy to eradicate 'pesky' cancer cells, started Herceptin (targeted therapy), to stop cancer cells dividing and growing, and now I have progressed to the 4th 'weapon' in my Breast Cancer treatment arsenal.

It seems Breast Cancer cells are not all the same, and I require these various treatments, with their distinct roles, to destroy the different cancer cells that are in my body and keep me cancer free.  This will eventually include Tamoxifen, a hormonal treatment that will slow/stop growth of some cancer cells.

So….  having 'breezed' into a car park space at NGH, I got to my appointment early and spent time in thought, whilst waiting, about the familiarity within the oncology unit and I recall how nervous I was attending my first appointments. Its been nearly 8 months since I received my diagnosis and since my whole life was made 'topsy turvey'…

The time since diagnosis has gone really quickly (mostly) and I hope that the next phase of my treatment will go equally as so. Anna, the Radiographer, interrupted my minds wanderings and my 'waiting room wig watching', and called me into a consulting room to prepare me for the CT scan, measuring up and tattooing!!

I was given a blue gown, and told this would be mine for the duration of the Radiotherapy treatment program and should I wish to do so , I was advised that I could bedazzle it! I wouldn't do a crazy thing like that!  mmmmmm!

It was explained in advance that there would be a lot of talking around me, pulling and positioning of my body, and when I was taken into the treatment room, indeed there was!

I laid on the bed of the CT scanner and as duly instructed, I did not move when they lifted my body into position. My left arm was lifted and placed into an arm rest/apparatus and my head was moved to the right on a cushion.

Measurements of my breast area were taken and another colleague came in and placed some stickers on my chest area…!

Random picture of a CT scanner so you get the gist!

I was left in the room alone whilst the CT scan was done and was told not to move!  Although the preparation felt a little like being a 'piece of meat on a butchers block', I was keen to comply with commands and be the perfect patient. This was easier said than done…..My nose and knee itched throughout and a stray hair from Vivian was tickling my eye lash and making my eye water!!!!!  so….I found myself in a fight with my natural instincts to move, talk, scratch, cough, sneeze to earn me this status! Arggghhh!

I relieved my itches and sorted my watery eye once the CT scan was done, but before being allowed to leave, I was marked either side of my booby scar with tiny black dot tattoo's!!!

So, it seems that  Radiotherapy works by using a high energy beam to kill cancer cells by causing the production of 'free radicals' that change the DNA of the cancer cells and stops them reproducing. My tattoo's 'mark the spot' where the beam will be targeted and I will have my first of 15 weekday treatments on 19th June.

I hope to dodge the possible side effects(fatigue (oh no!!), dryness/soreness/swelling/darkening of skin of the treatment area, and I look forward to putting this treatment be hid me!

A bonus bit of news; The Radiographer  has provisionally arranged for me to have my Groshong line taken out on Friday 6th June, as it will be in the way of the radiotherapy treatment. This will need to be approved by Dr Knighton, whom I am due to see on the 6th. This decision will depend on whether he agrees to the alternative method of administering Herceptin so I do not need the Groshong line.

Before I sign off folks, I want to introduce you to a new character in my life !!! 

MEET MILLY!!

My XMIL, Sue knitted 'Milly' and gave it to me as my treatment mascot after getting the idea from Cheryl and her mascot ERIC(see previous blog) . This was a complete surprise and a source of great delight …. LOOK- It's a mini version of me!!! Milly is wearing her own 'Vivian' hair do, wearing a pink tu tu as I did on my last chemo dare and wearing the replica t-shirt given to me by Kathy Sanford. 

HIIIIIILARIOUS!!!! 

Unfortunately I forgot to take her to my radiotherapy prep. appointment but she will be sure to join me   next time! 

Yay!!

INFORMATION:HER2 positive: http://media.curetoday.com/downloads/documents/HER2_pocketguide.pdf