'My Manky Boob'

'Manky Boob' describes perfectly what I found when my dressings were changed by the district nurses for the first time on the 27th March!

You may recall 'Manky' was the post operative word used by Mr Dawson to describe the  infection in my boob, so I felt it apt that I should claim the word for this!

My 'Manky Boob' as I will affectionately call it , wasn't the most pleasant thing I have seen in my life. I didn't recognise it at all as being part of my body and scenes from 'embarrassing bodies sprang to mind!

I was left with a blue coloured drain poking out of the swollen wound and dressings to catch fluid. District nurses came to my house daily to change the dressings until the check up/review on Monday 31st March.

I don't necessarily feel any less of a woman as a result  of the procedure,  a feeling commonly described by women, but clearly things are  different and it's something I'm getting used to.  Steve has said very little and he is keen to avoid seeing my wounds. His silence is understandable, but never the less it is that, that has been more difficult for me than actually having a 'manky boob'!

My biggest lament is about my cleavage .. how I miss my cleavage!  It really doesn't help that I have the groshong line positioned right in the cleavage area. Finding bra's and tops that make me feel like …well…. ME….AND then do not expose the flaws has become more complicated.

I was given a temporary prothesis at the appointment on Monday, by Annie the breast care nurse and this has helped shape my bras and tops nicely, so from the outside world you just wouldn't know!

Temp prothesis!

In search of a 'nude' coloured bra (for the photo shoot) I went to Bravissimo in Milton Keynes , and whilst they did not do specific post mastectomy bras'  they were falling over themselves to help and I came away with a perfectly fitting silky nude bra! They also gave me details of a company that sew in pockets for prothesis. I don't think bra shopping will ever be the same! When my wound settles , I will be fitted with a 'permanent' prothesis…which I'm advised sit more 'naturally' into the cup and  I will use this until my reconstruction.

So…. Sue my MIL,  came with me to the check up on Monday with Mr Dawson.  After the usual wait the appointment didn't last very long. Mr Dawson was happy with how the wound was healing, and he left me with doctors orders to "keep Smiling"!

Sue was with me throughout the examination and I'm not sure what compelled her to come over to me and tenderly kiss me on the forehead, but it propelled a wave of child like comfort through me, and injected in me a little dose of much appreciated confidence.

Well….I have a 'perfect boob', I had a 'poorly boob' and now a 'manky boob'… in time I will have new boobs and so I continue with this metamorphosis and look forward to seeing the result!